All because two people fell in love...

Is it Emilie or is it Kendyl?

2009-07-29T16:45:00.004-04:00

This is a picture I took of Kendyl at the beach:

and this is a picture Michelle took of Emilie in 2002 at the same beach :

CRAZY!! Definitely could be the same child!!

Kendyl's First Beach Vacation

2009-07-14T20:23:00.001-04:00

Where to start?!?! Our trip to the beach was phenomenal and now that the pictures from our five cameras have been merged, I can give you an update!

It’s a tradition for us to take pictures of the kids sitting on the front porch and unlocking the door to the "new house." They like to check everything out before the rest of us enter. Of course, Kendyl started her exploring after the doors were opened but her knees hit the ground running.

After unpacking the cars, we headed to the pool. This was Kendyl’s first time in a pool so we were extremely excited. Even better, when we were walking to the pool, we realized Emilie and Kendyl had on the same bathing suit – Michelle and I had not even planned this!

We left the pool and took the kids to the beach. Here’s a peek at Kendyl’s first sand and ocean experience…

We had to have our 'Yes Dear' moment as we carried all of our gear to the beach. After getting settled in, it didn’t take Kendyl long to become a beach babe! She had the relaxin’ down pat!

Of course, I have to touch on a few of my favorite things about Sea Pines (in no particular order):

The Dolphin Experience – Dolphins frequent the sound where we stay and this year, one came within 10 feet of Kevin and I was able to snap a shot!

The Bike Experience – Bikes are a must in Sea Pines and Kendyl had her first bike riding experience. After the initial ride (1st picture), she really started to enjoy it (second picture). It may have had something to do with the helmet. . .

The Salty Dog Experience – Many afternoons and evening have been spent hanging out at the Salty Dog.

The Sunset Experience – These pictures say it all!

The Kite Experience – The area where we stay is at the end of Hilton Head Island so the beach is never crowded which allows for a lot of room to fly kites. So much fun!

The Harbour Town Experience – A trip to Hilton Head wouldn’t be complete without a visit to Harbour Town. Kendyl really enjoyed the playground!

The Dunes Picture Experience – Each year, the kids have their picture taken with the Dunes in the background. This year, we did it twice, once with a professional photographer and once on our last day. Since it was the 4th of July, the kids were dressed patriotically so the pictures look too cute with their coordinated outfits. Once again, Emilie and Kendyl matched and Michelle and I had not planned it!

Every year, there is some funny theme that carries throughout the week. This year we had two themes but I have three new favorite things about Hilton Head (drum roll):

The High Tide – When the tide came in, the water took over our beach - literally, there was NO beach left. Our chairs, coolers, baby pool, books, EZ ups, and other beach necessities were swallowed. We refused to go without a fight though and I quickly became a fan of swimming under the tents. It didn’t do much for my Casper skin tone though.

The Crabs – When the tide was out, the crabs took over the beach! I have never seen so many little guys and they hate the water, so when the tide crept up the sand, they took cover under/on our chairs.

This picture is only a small indication as to what we really saw.

The Disney Resort – Since none of us wanted to travel on the 4th, my mom booked a night at the Disney Resort within Shelter Cove. It turned about to be perfection! Our villa was directly next to the pool which had the 'Big Dipper' water slide. I don't know who enjoyed it more: Emilie, Mason, or Owens! It was great! Our balcony had the best view of the sunset and fireworks in the entire resort so we hung out on our porch to watch the AMAZING Shelter Cove fireworks show. We may have to make this our new 4th of July tradition!

Here are just a few other fun pictures. It's easy to see how much we enjoyed our vacay!

I just love this picture!

and the countdown begins for next year!

So Big!

2009-06-25T19:09:00.007-04:00

Kendyl and I were having snack time tonight (her new favorite thing) and I was telling her what a big girl she was for chewing the whole puff and not the half I had been giving her. Every time I said the word 'big' she raised one or two of her hands. I realized she was playing 'SO big' all by herself. We have been playing this with her for awhile but we usually raise her hands for her. Now she really is SO big....

As I rewatched this video, I realized she is looking up too.

How smart is she?!?!

Ahhh....

2009-06-25T09:57:00.003-04:00

Summer school is finished! Kevin survived my marriage and family counseling class without too many 'guinea pig' moments. So now I only have five classes left before graduation. Whoop Whoop! I also completed all of the housing assignments and deposit refunds so I am actually caught up at work too! What an amazing feeling. Now we are preparing for our trip to Hilton Head and I am proud to report to all the doubters out there - I actually HAVE started packing! That still doesn't mean I won't be doing laundry at 2am (sorry, Mom) or that we won't show up at the rendezvous point late, but I certainly don't want to disappoint anyone. As I learned in class - we all have a role to play in our families and if you deviate from that role, you cause chaos in the family system. Now, you wouldn't want me to cause chaos, would you......

Stay tuned for Kendyl's beach debut pictures!

Baseball Baby!

2009-06-14T00:21:00.005-04:00

Kendyl went to her first baseball game tonight! Kevin's mom scored us tickets from work to the Greenville Drive game. The five of us had a great time - here are a few pictures:

A 90's Reunion

2009-06-10T19:40:00.000-04:00

I have always been a true child of the 80's but I read an article today on MSN that made me realize just how awesome the 90's were too! The article was about the top 7 TV shows from the 90's that we would love to see a reunion show made. Here is there list:

Full House
Growing Pains
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Home Improvement
Family Matters
Boy Meets World
Step by Step

I am ALL for #'s 2, 3, and 6. How awesome would it be to see Kirk Cameron again?!?! And the Carlton dance is just plain awesome! At the wedding I went to this weekend, Trina featured the Carlton dance while we were in the buffet line. It was priceless! Here is a video from YouTube just to refresh your memory:

Now the one that is not mentioned on the list but is actually the highlight of the article (weird, right?) is Saved by the Bell. In case you aren't up on the recent news, Jimmy Fallon is trying to coordinate a Saved by the Bell reunion. He already has Mr. Belding, Slater, and Lisa on board and as of last night, has Zach and Jessie. All that is missing now is Kelly and Screech. If you are an avid Saved by the Bell fan, here is a video of Mark-Paul Goselaar from last night on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. It is a little long but the references to old episodes is great (including the giant cell phone and the band 'Zach Attack'.) and Mark-Paul is actually 'in character' the whole time:

Just thought I would keep you up-to-date on the important goings on in the world! I mean, New Kids on the Block have reunited so, really, the rest of this is just icing.

It's Been a Whirlwind!

2009-06-09T22:11:00.026-04:00

It has been a while since my last update and so much has happened. This entry will be more of a catch up then a deep, meaningful post. Hopefully, when I finish with summer school, I will actually have time to think about the world around me. Right now, I do good to remember to put shoes on before I leave!

(side note…. the other morning, I was on my way out the door with two COMPLETELY different shoes on! Fortunately, I caught it before I was really embarrassed! Agh, the joys of being totally distracted!)

Ok, now for the update:

Kendyl’s food bank is growing by leaps and bounds! She has tried all of the veggies and is almost through the fruits (she is trying peaches for lunch and that will complete her list). Next stop, combinations! Still no teeth so we are holding off on Cheerios but I’m sure it won’t be long. We have also introduced sippy cups and apple juice. When you sit the sippy cup in front of Kendyl, she puts her hands up, leans forward, and opens her mouth – WIDE!. She just can’t figure out why the juice doesn’t jump right in.

Kendyl is also extremely fascinated by us when we eat. She watches our mouths so closely as if she is trying to figure out the whole chewing concept. She has actually started smacking her lips when she sees food. I feel so guilty to eat in front of her! She just looks so sweet (and confused).

Kendyl met with a plastic surgeon recently to assess her little red marks. In two places (on her side and back), she has red round spots where the blood vessels have come to the surface. Apparently, this is quite common in babies (Barrett had one on his back) so they are just monitoring the growth. The doc said they should start shrinking when she is around 18 months but if they continue to grow, she may have to have them lasered. We have a follow up appointment scheduled for August so I will definitely keep you posted.

We have been the proud Aunt, Uncle, and Cousin at Emilie’s, Haylie’s and Davis’s graduations, at Emilie’s dance recital, and at Davis’s soccer games. We also celebrated SMC's graduation, Elizabeth's graduation, Sarah's bridal shower, Cortney's baby shower, Kevin's mom's birthday, Kayla's birthday, and my birthday. I also had the wonderful opportunity to have dinner with a much-missed friend and to attend the wedding of a soon-to-be missed student. Not to mention the cookout at the house for my staff and the day at Carowinds to celebrate an end to an awesome year. Busy!?!? Not us!

We spent Memorial Day with my parents, Shell, Kevin, and the kids at Tweetsie Railroad in Blowing Rock, NC. Kendyl road the carousel and the mini-train and although it rained most of the day, she had a blast!

(please ignore my hairdo - it had been raining ALL day)

Kendyl’s baby bathtub is officially retired. She has now moved up to a bath seat in the big girl tub. I am amazed at how hard it was to find a seat, but fortunately, I ordered one online that folds for "easy storage." Of course, my only thought was buying something that would be easy to transport to the beach. Vacation, here we come!

(appartanly, as long as she has something to chew on, she's good!)

Kendyl is definitely working on her biceps and triceps. Any chance she gets, she is pulling up. This includes pulling up on the sides of her crib. We had to lower her crib mattress last week just to keep her in there! I don't think she was too sure of her new view:

The biggest news we have is that Kendyl is now a mobile munchkin! She is crawling everywhere! It is too cute to hear her talking to herself and she heads down the hall to find us. So much for trying to teach her to play in a room alone for a few minutes (at least long enough for a bathroom break)! Abby is also having to make a few adjustments to where she lays so she doesn’t become a jungle gym.

Kendyl made her way over to the laundry basket to help mommy fold her clothes. Of course she had to pull up on the side so she could stand while folding:

As you may have read in a previous post, I have been very frustrated with my camera. I definitely needed something better to capture these wonderful moments in our lives! So, for my birthday, my parents bought me a new, fancy, camera. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to deal with the size until I compared photos. Here are two pictures, taken from the exact same spot in our living room. Can you tell which was taken with the new camera? If you can't tell right away, click on each picture for a closer look.

Summer school is kicking my tail with two classes a week for four hours each night! I want to thank my dad for covering the store so Kevin can leave to pick up sweetie pie. I also want to say thanks to Kevin for washing bottles, cleaning up, cooking dinner, handling bathtime, and supporting me in a thousand other ways so I can focus on schoolwork. Although, when he tells me no TV until my homework is done, I am not always the happiest but I appreciate the kick in the pants. (He is kidding of course, but seriously!) More thanks to Michelle and my mom for putting in extra time with Kendyl while Kevin and I juggle work and school.
Kevin and I had a date night last week. We went to see the Cubs play the Braves in Atlanta. Crazy thing – friends of ours from Rock Hill were also going to the game so we had dinner with them and snuck down to their awesome seats. It was GREAT spending time with them and with each other! Even better, the Cubs won in extra innings!

I’m sure I am forgetting something, but that’s all I have time for (it has actually taken me three days just to write this)! School and work are lurking around the corner so I need to attack them while I still have the motivation. Here are a few more pictures just for fun:

A Day to Remember

2009-05-21T15:16:00.006-04:00

Sometimes you have days when you look back you realize what a special day it really was. K and I had one of those days Wednesday. We didn't do anything special except spend time together. Our day started just as any other with breakfast and a little play time. Following a nap it was time for K to take her normal Wednesday bath. Bath-time is some what of a challenge right now in our house as K has outgrown her current baby tube but isn't actually big enough for the next step up, just another challenge to hurdle. As I was drying her off I was able snap a couple great pictures.

Following the bath it was time for another meal for K and then off to meet Stac at the doctors office for a round of immunizations. As usual K was a trooper. Even after a forty-five minute wait in the waiting room it was just a short crying spell after the stick and everything is good. I think the shots hurt Stac and I more than her. After lunch for Stac and I (then back to work for her)and a quick trip to Wally world for K and I it was back to the homestead. K and I enjoyed some more play time. K also continued to improve on her crawling and pulling up.

Like Stac says she sure is growing up fast...but it sure it fun watching it happen!

Peek-A-Boo

2009-05-21T10:52:00.002-04:00

Kendyl has been slightly nosey since day one but now she has now taken it to the next level. Usually when she is in the crib, she can’t see us because of her bumper pads so we can move around without disturbing her. Well, yesterday, while she was supposed to be napping, I heard her talking in her crib. As I walked by her room, I saw her peeking through her crib at me! She was holding her bumper pad down so she could see. She had the biggest smile on her face and when I asked her what she was doing, she just started laughing. It was hysterical.

Of course, when Kendyl does something at home, it isn’t long before she tries it out on Michelle. This is a picture I got from Michelle this morning:

She had pulled herself up in her pack-n-play and in Michelle’s words, “I guess she wanted to see what exactly was going on around here!!!” She continues to amaze me.

My First Mother's Day

2009-05-12T11:51:00.001-04:00

What an amazing weekend! A good friend of mine told me that your first mother’s day will always be your favorite and I now see what she meant. Of course, celebrating with Kendyl was wonderful, but I am blessed to have loved ones in my life who made the day even more special.

I woke up Sunday morning to the sounds of Kendyl talking and playing in her crib. It was the most beautiful sound I ever heard. I spent time with Kendyl feeding her breakfast while Kevin was busy in the kitchen. He served me fresh strawberries and HOMEMADE French toast. It was delicious! Emilie, Davis, and Barrett called and, in unison, wished me a happy mother’s day. So cute! Kendyl and Kevin gave me sweet gifts which will always be dear to my heart. Although, it was the time we had together as a family that is still the best gift of all.

We went to church (the first time we have gone on mother’s day in several years) and Kendyl was a perfect angel. My parents made a surprise appearance at church and not only did I get to give my mom a mother’s day hug, but she got to give me one too! It was an amazing moment. After church, we had lunch at Billy D’s with my parents, Kevin’s parents, the Owens (both sets), and of course, Emilie, Davis, and Barrett. After lunch, we visited with Kevin’s extended family and his grandmother then it was off to my parents for dinner. Michelle, mommy, and I spent time together exchanging gifts and I will forever treasure my first mother’s day goodies. Thank you both for you thoughtfulness!

Throughout the day, I received text messages from loved ones wishing me a happy day. Even the most unexpected people let me know they were thinking of me. I am typically not one for attention, but the feelings of joy that Kendyl has brought, especially on a day like Sunday, is overwhelming. It is amazing to know how many other hearts she has touched.

I can’t help but think about those in my life who may have struggled on Sunday. Whether it is thoughts of a mother who has passed, a child they are separated from, or a child they may never have. I love you all dearly and my prayers are with you.

To Mommy and Michelle: Thank you for always being there for me. For offering to help with the 1,000 things I tend to have going on. For putting up with my constant phone calls to check on Kendyl. For offering guidance and support, regardless of the time of day or what you have going on in your lives. For being role models. You are amazing women! I treasure our girl’s lunches, shopping days, and pedicures and I look forward to many more! I love you both!!

Quick Recap

2009-05-04T20:37:00.000-04:00

I am at home with a sick princess today so I thought I would take the opportunity to catch you up on what has been going on… it’s been busy.

Kendyl started “real” food a few weeks ago. We tried green beans first and she took to them very quickly. No funny faces! We have moved onto peas and they weren’t quite as good but I’m not giving up that easy. Next stop – squash!

Miss Busy Body is too nosey to stay in her seat while shopping so I let her sit in the shopping cart at Target. She loved it! It also put her closer to me so she let all of Target know when she was ready for mommy to carry her. Sorry Target shoppers! This also moved us to high chairs. I am in the market for a nice wooden one but they are so hard to find. If you know where I can get one, I am open to suggestions!

Kendyl was baptized a week ago and I am SUPER proud of her. Thank you to everyone who helped celebrate this momentous occasion. We are blessed to have such a loving family. Kendyl must have known she was in the spotlight because she didn’t cry at all!

A little blurb about me…. I finished another semester at Clemson! Only one summer class and two semesters to go before graduation. Whoop Whoop!

Kendyl had her first exposure to college life and apparently really enjoyed herself. I took her to SMC’s Spring Fling where she watched a parade, danced to music, and flirted with the guys. As much as she enjoyed it at 6-months old, I can’t imagine her at 18 - I see trouble in our future!

Kendyl had her 6-month well baby visit. She is now 15 pounds and 26 inches. Unfortunately, she got sick 5 days later and is now running a temperature of 102.2. Yuck!

That should cover it! I am hoping to have more opportunities to blog since I am finished with classes… at least for the next three weeks, so stay tuned!

Happy 6 Month Birthday Kendyl!

2009-04-18T01:03:00.002-04:00

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

New Toys and New Views

2009-04-16T14:30:00.002-04:00

About a week ago, Emilie was telling me how she thinks Kendyl is sitting up better on her own because she has been practicing in the Bumbo seat. If you know Emilie, you can picture her telling me this in all seriousness, very adult-like, while nodding her head. She is such a big girl!

As always, it seems Em is right. Yesterday, Kevin was cutting the grass so Kendyl and I decided to try out some new toys. Not only did she enjoy her new things, but she sat up the whole time she played! This was a first for Kendyl so, of course, I had to capture it on video to share...

As I was typing this blog, Michelle sent a picture of Kendyl entitled 'Time for New Toys.' Crazy right? She had no idea but was thinking the same thing I was typing. Here is the picture of Kendyl playing with a fridge toy while in her walker at Aunt Shelley's...

Kendyl is definitely exploring her surroundings and now has a new view - from the seated position! The new toys are rolling in!

Happy Easter

2009-04-14T13:36:00.017-04:00

Kendyl had a wonderful first Easter! On Saturday, Kevin and I met Paul, Lori, and Ally at the JLS Easter Bunny Breakfast. This was Kendyl's first time seeing the Easter Bunny but she did great! I didn't really like the way that Easter bunny was dressed (or not dressed) so while mommy and I were shopping in Columbia, we had another picture taken. Unfortunately, that bunny went a little crazy with the blush but Kendyl had a good time. These are her bunny pictures:

JLS Easter Bunny Breakfast

Columbia Bunny

Sunday started off with church where Kendyl squirmed and wiggled until she finally feel asleep (after her Daddy had to take her out twice for being a little loud). Then it was picture time with her Easter basket and off to Grandma and Papa's for lunch with the Mason clan. We met Nannie, Poppa, Aunt Shelley, Uncle Kevin, Emilie, Davis, Barrett, and the Owens for dinner at City Range which Kendyl slept through. Of course, Easter wouldn't be complete without Aunt Shelley's famous bunny cake! After dinner, we went back to Nannie and Poppa's for desert and Easter goodies!

Overall, it was a glorious weekend!

Giggles

2009-04-07T13:42:00.007-04:00

For the past few months, we have talked about how happy Kendyl always is. Her first smiles and each one since, just melt my heart. Now, we have moved onto giggles. Last weekend, I was taking Kendyl out of the car and she just started laughing at me (insert your reason why here). I immediately grabbed my camera and this is the result. Notice the bow clipped onto her seat - it wouldn't stay in!

(please ignore the constant movement but I was trying to keep her laughing)

The Bows are Back in Town

2009-04-05T23:52:00.013-04:00

Since the day I found out we were having a girl, my mind focused on two things: pink dresses and hair bows. The first two months were perfect. My little princess was dressed in pink and usually had a hair bow. Then her hair started to fall out (and mine too but that's a different blog for a different day) so no more bows. I will never forget the moment when I realized the bows were out....

We were in church and Kendyl was sitting on my lap. The service had not started so I was still getting situated. This included fixing Kendyl's hair bow. I got it in place only for it to slide right out. I wasn't giving up that easy so I kept trying. After several attempts, each ending with the bow on the floor, Kevin finally said, "Um , I don't think it's gonna stay." So just like that, the bows had to be put away.

Since then, I would periodically try a bow to no success.... that is, until Thursday. I decided to try the bow again in hopes that we might be able to wear one for Easter. This time, the bow stayed in!!! And not just while Kendyl lay quietly, it actually endured play time! Here's a peek....

and a little video too!
(Side note... I intended to just video Kendyl with her hair bow but realized I had captured a sweet conversation between Kevin and Kendyl. It’s too cute!)

The Hunt has Begun!

2009-04-02T13:54:00.003-04:00

It’s official. I need a new camera. I have a relativity new camera but I haven’t been happy with the quality of the pictures it takes (sorry mom and dad). The camera actually has GREAT reviews but I haven't seen the proof of them.

I discovered that even though the zoom claims to be a great feature, it actually stinks. If I zoom, the picture turns out very grainy. And the red-eye feature never works. Almost all of my pictures have a problem with red-eye. Recent events have just re-enforced the inevitable.

Last year at Emilie’s dance recital, all of my pictures were so dark, even with the flash, I could not keep any of them.
I took a group of students on a leadership retreat last weekend and I was the official photographer. Unfortunately, the pictures did not turn out so great but hopefully I captured a few of their favorite memories.
And let’s not forget Kendyl. I attempt to capture every moment of her life but I find myself having to edit almost every picture I take of her. The ‘noisy image fixer’ has become my new best friend.

So in an effort to improve the quality of Kendyl’s scrapbook, my hunt for a new camera has officially begun! Any suggestions?

And the fun continues....

2009-03-26T23:19:00.014-04:00

So much has been going on lately! Here is a quick overview of a few other things that have been providing us with entertainment:

Kendyl finds her feet!

Kendyl enjoys her exersaucer!

Kendyl tries out a jumpy seat at Aunt Shelley's!

And just some other fun pictures of Kendyl smiling!

Bumbo Abs

2009-03-25T23:50:00.007-04:00

Kendyl has been doing 'ab crunches' lately and it's not because bathing suit season is coming. She is at the stage where she knows how cool sitting up can be but she just can't get the hang of it. Here is a quick look at how frustrated she gets when she can't sit up.....

In an effort to help Kendyl's six pack campaign, I broke down and bought a Bumbo seat. I heard how awesome they are but never intended to buy one. Here is Kendyl in her new Bumbo seat....

I guess now we will be working on Bumbo Abs!

Sleeping Arrangements

2009-03-25T11:46:00.003-04:00

My girl is growing up too fast! She slept in her own room last night! Kevin laid her down around 9:30 in her crib so when it came time for me to go to bed at midnight, I decided not to move her. She has started to be very wiggly in her cradle and on Monday, she even had her legs hanging out the sides (between the bars). I thought she would be more comfortable if she had more room and it seems like she was. At one point, when I went to check on her (around 5am), she was lying sideways in the crib. It was very cute! Although she is only across the hall, this was my first step in letting her grow up. I’m not sure how much I like it…..

Here is Kendyl starting out in her crib all snug and cozy. She looked so small in the big crib - I wasn't sure if it was time to make the transition from her cradle.

And here is Kendyl a few hours later. I think she is enjoying the space!

Can you hear me now?

2009-03-16T14:56:00.007-04:00

Well, its been around 3 months since I've posted anything... guess that's one new year's resolution we can scratch off the list. I think Stac does a better job of letting you know what's going on anyway. But enough of all that, on with the real post...
Sunday is usually a day we spend together as a family but sometimes I take part of the day to get in some recreation. I was supposed to spend this particular Sunday hunting quail, however mother nature apparently had alternate plans for the birds and left us waiting in the rain. However, that meant I could spend more time at home enjoying the little one.
After lunch we decided to take a trip to our local Verizon store. Stac has been fighting with her blackberry for about a week and hasn't been to correct the problems, even after a trip earlier in the week for support. At that visit she was told the phone was in need of an update and everything should be fine. Well it wasn't. I don't use Verizon as my wireless carrier and I'm sure their product is very good and very reliable however I believe Verizon may want to look at improving it's customer service. I'm not sure if it was just a typical Sunday or a result of the weather but the store was packed. We walked in a signed in as prompted. We wasted a few mintues looking at some phone accessories before finding a spot to sit and wait. After about forty minutes and three false alarms our ticket was finally punched. A Verizon employee called Stac's name and asked how she could help. After a brief explanation of the problems we were told just to call the 800 technical support number and they would send her a new phone. Well as it turns out that wasn't exactly true. The employee was so busy trying to just get rid of us she didn't ask how long Stac had the phone. As it turns out she's had too long to just be replaced but of course the employee did offer us an upgrade option but it would be more expensive because she didn't qualify for a full upgrade discount. So after declining the upgrade option the employee again told us just to call the tech line and they would help. So as we loaded into the car and headed on our way Stac began the call. At the end of the call the phone was still not fixed and her option now is to completely restore the phone and lose everything in it. It's a frustrating situation and it doesn't look like things are gonna get any easier. It seems to me that companies these days spend too much time wooing the new customer and not enough time taking care of the people who are already paying them. Yes new customers is how you build your business but don't forget the power of a satisfied customer.

His Plan

2009-03-04T22:01:00.003-05:00

EJ and Riley, friends of ours, also keep a blog and one of Riley’s recent posts, ‘Trust Him for Tomorrow,’ really touched my heart. She talks about a sermon in church entitled ‘God’s Purpose: Right Now’ (you can check it out at http://051708.blogspot.com/). As I read her recap of the sermon, I realized just how true the words are and just how much they spoke to me.

I am a planner and like to feel in control of my life. In January 2005, Kevin and I had ‘the talk’ about starting a family and after checking my calendar, I determined May would work best for me. I calculated the best time to be on maternity leave in regards to work and the best months for being pregnant. Then, we set our plan in motion. I went to the doctor and had a complete physical and we decided May would be the month to get pregnant. Success!

Of course, our plan was quickly ripped away and we started the horrific trials with infertility. Throughout our struggles, it was difficult to maintain a strong faith. I knew He was with me every step, feeling the same pain we were experiencing, but I often found myself very angry at Him. I questioned Him and asked ‘Why’ more times than I can count. It was simple (in my eyes) and I didn’t understand why I could not have a baby. After all, I was ready.

It’s sad how quickly, in times of turmoil, we lose our faith. I had been lost for many months and the emptiness I was feeling was not only from the loss of our babies, but from the loss of Christ in my life. In October 2007, I realized that if I was going to survive another day, I needed to turn my heart back to God. I let go of my anger, I stopped asking why, and I placed my trust in Him. I knew He had a plan for us, even if it wasn’t on my timeline, and with Him by our side, we would be fine.

We stopped the tests, the medications, and the doctor’s appointments. As Riley says, “We must obey Him today and trust Him for tomorrow” and that is exactly what I did.

My outlook on life improved and I no longer felt empty. I was at peace and my heart was filled with love for a glorious God. Kevin and I weathered a great storm and our love had grown deeper than ever before. We knew there was a grandeur plan and we trusted Him to reveal it when the time was right. And that is just what He did.

Fast forward a year…

I am still a planner, although I have learned a great deal about flexibility, especially with a 4-month old. (YEAH!) I am continuously listening for God to speak to my heart and I am open to experience His plan, in His time. For this is the best plan I could ever have.

My Therapy

2009-02-25T00:51:00.002-05:00

Since June 4, 2005, our lives have been an emotional roller coaster. We had just found out we were pregnant and just as quickly found out the baby would not survive. “Not a viable pregnancy” were the words the doctor used as he was exiting the room. Seven months later, we were back in the same ultrasound room being told that our second baby no longer had a heartbeat. This time, we were 12 weeks pregnant so surgery was required. After numerous tests, we found out that the baby had a genetic disorder that only occurs in 1% of ALL pregnancies. Just our luck, right?

This, of course, sparked concern so off to a specialist we went. Tests, tests, and more tests with encouraging results each time. Then came the medication. There were times I’m sure Kevin thought I had moved out and some crazy lady moved in. I felt horrible, but hopeful. I had more ultrasounds then I can count and I became a “regular” at the MedLab - often going every other day for bloodwork.

Another year and three lost pregnancies later I was losing hope. I couldn’t bear talking about everything we were going through because I couldn’t handle the emotions. I went through phases of sadness, anger, frustration, and confusion. I had so many unanswered questions - I didn’t know how to sort through them all. I spent hours researching online in an attempt to find answers. One glorious day, I came across an infertility website that had a link to a song by Kellie Coffey. After listening to the powerful lyrics, I realized she was telling my story. In every word, she fully captures what I was thinking and feeling. She sings about a loving husband, achievements, and dreams. She asks many of the same questions that were on my mind. This song quickly became the therapy I needed. On my bad days, I could play this song and feel some relief. On good days, it provided me with a glimpse of hope. It is hard to explain just how much comfort this song gave me but just singing it at the tops of my lungs with tears streaming down my face was exactly what I needed.

I share this now because my dream has come to life. God has given me the opportunity to be a part of a very special child’s heart. He created Kendyl especially for us and I see His glory every time I look into her eyes.

It was a year ago yesterday that we found out we were pregnant with Kendyl. The next nine months were filled with fear, elation, peace, and gratitude. Kendyl has filled my heart and it is sometimes hard to truly remember the feeling of emptiness I had for so many years. The Kelli Coffey song remains on my IPod and often pops up in my shuffle. I guess it is my continued therapy because each time I hear it, my heart fills with peace.

Here is a link to the song and video...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqfGqOx2iDQ

Sixteen Days

2009-02-18T15:12:00.003-05:00

It has been awhile since our last entry and so much has happened

February 1st - Kendyl rolls over! She went from her belly to her back in one quick motion. It was extremely exciting for us although she looked a bit confused. She hasn’t done it much since but we were able to get it on video! YEAH! We have having difficulty posting the video but hope to get it up soon!

February 11th - Kendyl’s 4-month well baby check up. She is 13.14 pounds and 24¼. Growing baby!

February 12th - Kendyl eats cereal. Today was the first day with cereal and she LOVES it! We started out just one time a day and as of today, have moved up to three times a day. Last night, while Kevin was feeding her, she was talking and cooing so contently. I guess now that her belly is full, she is feeling great!

February 14th – Kendyl’s first Valentine’s Day! Her daddy gave her a special book about hugs then she spent the evening with her nannie and poppa while we went out to eat. Unfortunately, she fell asleep at 8:00 so they didn’t get much play time but with so many things happening, it’s no wonder she is tired!

February 17th - Kendyl sits up! She was on her changing table and I was holding her in the seated position while I put her jammies on. She leaned herself forward so her hands were on either side of her feet and started talking away. I let her go (she was well-supervised of course) and she was able to hold herself steady while sitting up! This moves us up to a whole new set of toys!

It’s amazing to think about everything Kendyl has accomplished in just 16 days. I try to capture and treasure every moment but they are coming so quickly, I hope I can keep up!

Inspiration and Revelation

2009-01-29T11:25:00.001-05:00

Over the past several days, I have been contemplating the mindset that some adults “act like a baby” when they are sick. Kendyl is sick. She has been stuffy and sneezy for over a week and after a visit to her doctor on Monday, we discovered she has a nasty ear infection. The crazy thing is that you would never know she was sick. She hasn’t cried, she’s not fussy, and, as her Aunt Shelley says “She takes her medicine like a trooper.” Even though her eyes are watery, she snorts from her stuffy nose, and her temperature may be elevated, she just keeps smiling and playing as if nothing was wrong. I only hope I can “act like Kendyl” when I am sick and keeping smiling. She is, as always, my inspiration.

On another note, Kendyl spent all day yesterday with Kevin since it was his day off. When I got home, I could tell they had really bonded because Kendyl was all about her Daddy. If he was in the room, she would not take her eyes off of him and even when he wasn’t looking, she would just smile at him. Her happiness glowed every time he talked to her and he was just as cute with her. I could tell Kendyl has Kevin wrapped around her 10 perfect fingers AND her 10 chubby toes. As I watched this, all I could think about was 16 years from now when she is asking to take the car to a party and her flashing him another heart-melting smile. I don’t think Kevin has a chance.

Kendyl's First History Lesson

2009-01-21T13:35:00.003-05:00

Kendyl had her first history lesson yesterday on presidential inaugurations. I was fortunate to have a 'snow' day so she and I watched the festivities together. Now, I may not completely agree with Obama's platform, but I certainly agree that it is a historic event.

Kendyl started off the morning curled up on our bed sleeping. I had the TV on but I was busy in the kitchen making bottles. Around 11:30, I went to check on her and there she was... she was lying on her tummy but had lifted her head so she could see the TV. She did not take her eyes off of it even when I walked into the room. It was as if she understood that she needed to watch (this was the exact time everyone was processing to their seats).

Kendyl's spot all morning

Kendyl watching the inauguration

Seeing her interest, I fixed her bottle and we sat on the couch to watch the actual swearing in. As I sat with her, I started to think about how she will study this in her history classes and the question of "where were you" is bound to come up. So, Miss Kendyl, you were 13 weeks old sitting at home with your mommy enjoying your bottle when the first African-American president was sworn into office. The energy of the day was contagious as the cameras spanned the crowd showing hopeful and optimistic Americans coming together once again – all placing their confidence in this one man to turn our nation around. I pray Obama is able to accomplish this, but, more importantly, I pray that we remember there is a power greater than Obama and our faith always needs to be with Him.

Sleep Junkie

2009-01-15T11:31:00.001-05:00

It's seems everyone's first question is "How is Kendyl sleeping?" but no one ever asks "How are you sleeping?" I am amazed at how tired I feel even with 6 hours of sleep. Kendyl sleeps great. She has been sleeping through the night for over a month now (and by 'through the night,' I mean from about midnight until 7am). She looks so peaceful as she lays swaddled and warm in her cradle. I wish someone would swaddle me! I am guessing that although I am lying in bed for those 6 hours, I am not sleeping as soundly as I used to (and I was so good at it). I now find myself planning when I can get my next “fix” of sleep, even if it is just for 10 minutes.

Exhaustion is definitely settling in and life is getting more and more interesting. Here a just a few examples:

*While cooking dinner one night, I picked up a dirty dish towel with the intention of putting it in the hamper. I later found it in the trash can. Oops!

*For the past three days, I have fallen asleep at my desk with my finger still clicking away on my mouse. If not for the sudden jerk as I drifted off into snooze-land, there is no telling when I would have woken up.

*I assigned the same student to three different rooms because I didn't remember ever assigning him. I hope he knows where he is living! :-)

*I actually found myself completely zoned out while attempting a song on guitar hero - I didn't get boo'd off stage though!

*While catching up with Kevin last night, we were talking about a meeting I had and him staying home with Kendyl instead of meeting up with the guys. His response was "I am too tired to go out." Now, that's exhaustion!

*Kevin fixes Kendyl’s bottles every night in preparation for the next day. Last night, we had a fifteen minute conversation about how many bottles we had made and how many more we needed. We counted, recounted, added, carried the two, and finally came up with a reasonable plan. This morning, neither of us could remember how many we had, how many we needed, and how many we had made just 6 hours before. I hope Michelle ended up with enough to last her through the day!

I could probably come up with millions of little examples of the crazy things we do as a result of exhaustion, but I might fall asleep typing them. Instead, I will just remember what "Hootie" says: "It won't be like this for long" and I will treasure every sleepless moment.

A Dose of Optimism

2009-01-05T15:13:00.000-05:00

Well, the inevitable happened. The holidays passed, the decorations packed, the new year celebrated, and the 11 wonderful weeks of maternity leave have come to an end. Now it’s back to work. As I sit here at my desk trying to focus on housing assignments, training schedules, and budget requests, I find myself thinking about my little sweetie. I wonder what it is she is doing – telling her Aunt Shelley a story, playing on her mat, watching one of her movies, or just taking in the world around her.

Throughout this pregnancy, I was questioned as to whether I would return to work once Kendyl was born and my answer was always a definite “yes.” How could I not? I love my work, my students, and my colleagues. I had finally found a career that was fulfilling and I could not imagine not doing it. Not to mention, it provides a roof over our heads. I am sure the decision to return to work is one many new moms struggle with, but I never thought I would be one of them. Boy how things change. The thought of missing a moment of Kendyl’s life just tears me up. I long for that overwhelming feeling of contentment that consumes me as she wraps her tiny fingers around mine and flashes that melt-your-heart grin.

On top of this transition, I am starting classes again this week. When I enrolled in grad school in January 2007, I had already had four miscarriages so schoolwork was a great distraction. Although it was difficult to switch my mind back to ‘student mode’ after 9 years, I felt I had purpose. I enjoyed the interaction with the professors and learning the new trends in my field. In preparation for Kendyl, I took the fall semester off but now I have to get back to the ‘student’ mindset. I haven’t’ quite figured out when I will get my schoolwork completed since I want to spend every extra minute with Kendyl, but it’s a commitment I made to myself and must see through.

So now for my own dose of optimism:

I realize how fortunate I am to have a terrific sister who is willing to keep Kendyl so I don’t have to send her to a day care with strangers. Michelle has done a wonderful job helping me by sending text messages and pictures updating me on Kendyl’s day. I know Kendyl is in loving, capable hands and is doing much better dealing with the separation than her mommy. I will take a lesson from her (not the last one she will teach me, I’m sure). I have a wonderful husband and supportive family who will go to any lengths to make sure I am able to get everything done and hang on to my sanity in the process. I guess getting stuff done isn’t nearly as worrisome as the guilt from taking the time away from Kendyl. In addition, I focus on the example I am setting for Kendyl. I want her to know that she can accomplish anything she puts her mind to and can be a successful professional, student, wife, and mother.

I am sure I will rely on plenty of lists to get me through this. My work, school, and personal ‘to dos’ will have to be documented somewhere so I don’t get stuck in baby talk land. And let’s not forget the biggest blessing God has bestowed – Kendyl. For years I prayed I would have a little one so these little things that I have to work through now are really just small obstacles. It’s all going to be okay… I just have to give myself few days.

'Tis the Season to be Merry

2008-12-20T10:26:00.005-05:00

This time of year always takes me back. Growing up I remember Christmas always bringing an excitement that was unmatched any other time of the year. We spent lots of time with family decorating and preparing for the big day and always spent Christmas day traveling from house to house to be with family. My cousins and me searched department store catalogs for the perfect gift(s). Once found it was circled and initialed for Santa to find. Of course that was back when department store put out catalogs and actually sold toys. This year will be particularly special as Stac and I prepare to celebrate as parents for the first time. Although our little one is too young to remember we will begin new traditions and customs. One tradition that will remain is a viewing of one of my favorite movies. Although it isn't your traditional Christmas movie it does have the holiday theme.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGxyIhsSAow

Merry Christmas.

A Perfect Moment

2008-12-15T23:50:00.004-05:00

I went into work for a few hours today with Kendyl in tow then it was home for a quick lunch and costume change before heading to Greenville for Christmas pictures with Emilie, Davis, and Barrett. I had not had anything to eat and, of course, I was running late. As I rushed down I-85, my mind was at full speed thinking of all I need to accomplish before Christmas. I took the Woodruff Road exit as another car was coming off the 385 ramp. I watched the car so I could merge in behind it. Suddenly, the car was coming directly towards me! The driver was out of control and the car was spinning across the lane I was in. I slammed on brakes, swerved, and thankfully, avoided the collision but I was quite shaken up. I took a deep breath and thanked the Lord for the angel that was watching over us.

Now it was time to tackle this photo shoot. I had tried to plan Kendyl's lunch and naps around our appointment so we might have a pleasant experience. We ended up sitting for 35 minutes before our session began (not helping my schedule at all). Kendyl did well initially but became impatient quickly. The photographer set up the next pose with a wicker bassinet for Kendyl to lay in. Davis, as sweet and excited as could be, knelt down next to it and said, "Hey Aunt Stac, this looks just like Jesus' manger." (Too Cute)

As I laid Kendyl in her 'manger,' she began to cry - HARD. I tried singing "He's Got the Whole World (in his hands)" to calm her but it didn't seem to be working. Then the sweetest thing happened..... Without being prompted, Emilie, Davis, and Barrett, in the softest voices, started singing with me. There Kendyl was, in her manger, surrounded by three angels who looked on adoringly as they sang about the good Lord holding them in His hands. It could not have been a more perfect moment.

I immediately forgot about my hectic day, my hunger, my almost collision, and my long 'to do' list. I soaked up as much of that moment as I could and will treasure it forever. Those children are truly God's gifts to us.

First time parent

2008-12-15T10:13:00.004-05:00

For nine months its all you heard, "things will never be the same". It came from family, friends and even strangers. Every time the reaction was the same, a nod in agreement and a smile. Before our little one was born we had no idea how true those words would be. Then our lives were fairly routine...work, come home, catch-up on each other, have some dinner and usually entertained with some must see TV. There where nights when that routine was interrupted...a late night meeting or drinks with the guys but overall this is what we did. We enjoyed our lives, our only decisions were where to eat or what to do on Saturday night. Now our routine is no routine. Our little one is our only focus. Of course work is still there (for me anyway) but nothing else is the same and we wouldn't have it any other way. Since becoming parents eating dinner has become an after thought. Now, I get home spend time enjoying the little one and maybe eat in between feedings. I guess now we'll really learn the value of Tivo.

The Stocking

2008-12-12T23:58:00.007-05:00

Every year about this time, I start decorating the house for Christmas. Each ornament is purposefully hung on the tree and each nic-nac is carefully placed on a shelf. I have always been quite particular about our tree and was insistent we found one that was the perfect shape and fullness. This sometimes required us to walk up many hills through the North Carolina mountains only to go back to the same tree so we could compare it to one we just looked at. All in good fun of course (although Kevin may have a different opinion).

This year would be no different... or so I thought. We tried a different tree farm in hopes that the perfect tree would be on that particular side of the mountain. The owner had apparently not planned to be open on this day so he was very anxious to send us on our way. To accomplish this, he followed us in his truck while we were on foot. He would often yell things from the truck's window like "you won't find anything up there, your best bet is to pick something from right here." I felt so rushed but looking back on it, it was quite humerous.

Kevin and I quickly spotted one tree that looked good on three sides and since the tree man had the chainsaw in hand, I agreed to adopt it. Honestly, I think he was going to load it on our car whether we wanted it or not. I wasn't all that satisfied with our selection, but under the circumstances, it was going to have to work. I believe I put more emphasis on the "perfect" tree this year becuase it is Kendyl's first Christmas and I want everything to be just right. The Christmas tree, for me, has always been where that starts.

We have spent the past few days unpacking boxes and decorating for Christmas. This, or course, includes getting out our stockings. I bought these for Kevin, Abby, and I five years ago when we were first married. A year later, I added a fourth (to match of course) for the baby we planned to have that Christmas. We never got to hang it. For the next 3 years, I unpacked that fourth stocking only to quickly pack it away again. It was always a reminder of little one that was still just a prayer in our hearts.

This year, when it came time to unpack our stockings, I didn't have to quickly pack one away. The tears that filled my eyes this time were that of complete joy. As I hung our four stockings, I realized our Christmas tree would be beautiful no matter the shape or size, no matter how many mountains we climb, and no matter how much time we spent picking it out. Our Christmas will be perfect because of the four stockings hanging from the mantle. Four stockings that represent more love and more answered prayers than one can imagine.